inspiration

I’m keenly aware that my title is written in all lower case letters. There’s a reason for this. I’m uninspired right now and so is my title. I’ve come to the realization that sometimes this world is not enough for me and that’s why I delve deep into my books. I read aggressively, I read into the late hours of the night, I cancel plans so I can stay at home to read and I talk incessantly with my husband about my current reads or just finished reads.

Sometimes the world is just way too much for me, those are the days I fear the most. Those are the days I pull the covers over my head and refuse to pick up a book or turn on the TV. I sit there with a million thoughts flowing through my brain, worrying that I can’t escape, worrying about the things that are out of my control. My anxiety starts to set in, I pace around my room with no where to go. I’ve always been the overdramatic one, who starts with that knee jerk reaction and deals with the consequences later. I’m not a liar, so I own my faults. Sometimes late at night I pull all my clothes out of my closet and throw them on the ground. This is the hour I feel the urge to purge. What do I do with the mess, the chaos that is now my room.

Sometimes, there are those rare occasions where there is a calm and I am at peace. This is not that time.